How to Handle Uncomfortable Feelings?

Learn to Escape from Escapism

We all have feelings. More often than not, what we dread are uncomfortable feelings. Let’s look at some examples:

a.      Imagine, you have been busy with lots of activities, and suddenly there is no activity. How would you feel then?

b.      You have been fired from work. You reach home and the house is full of guests. How would you feel then?

c.       Despite you working hard, your colleague got recognition and you were not acknowledged. How would you feel?

d.      On a quiet Sunday when you are sitting at home alone, all of a sudden a sad memory from the past pops up in your mind and you become sad. What would you do then?

e.      You call for meeting and no one turns up. How would you feel?

f.        One of your aspiring clients call s of his business and all your future plans crumble. How would you feel?

g.      You take out time from your busy schedule and go for a family function. No one attends to you there. How would you feel?

It is observed that in most of the above mentioned scenarios, one feels uncomfortable. We either shut down the emotions by suppressing it or find a temporary way of escaping it by diverting focus to topics that provide temporary relief. One may switch on the TV, call a friend, chat with someone, surf on the net, go for eating out, take a walk, express one’s anger. Etc. So what happens in the brain when it comes to these uncomfortable feelings?

The Fact:

In everyday language we often use the terms feelings and emotions interchangeably as they are closely associated with each other. We are constantly contacting the external world through our senses. Our brain is receiving signals from the body, registering what is going on inside our body. Emotions are the complex reactions the body has to certain stimuli.

When a situation that we have associated with fear occurs, it triggers various body sensations. Our hearts begin to race, our mouths become dry our skin turns pale and our muscles contract. These sensations form a physical snapshot in the brain. This physical snapshot is triggered automatically and unconsciously whenever the situation is repeated, when the brain interprets the situation as one of fear. It triggers this emotional reaction that leads to the physical symptoms.

If the brain is faced with an emotion which doesn’t match with the set belief systems, then instead of reporting that it doesn’t know how to interpret this emotion, it replays any of the existing feelings like anger, boredom, comparison, disgust, depression, envy , fear, guilt, hatred, ill-will, jealousy. Our physical state also changes accordingly. The brain releases chemicals along the neural pathway and the symptoms are shown on different parts of the body.

For every emotion, different parts of the body get affected. For example, when the feeling of anger arises in a body, the brain releases stress hormones in the body. It shunts blood away from the gut and toward the muscles, in preparations for physical exertion. Heart rate, blood pressure and respiration increase, the body temperature rises and the skin perspires.

As we see it we believe in it and reinforce the emotion. As the brain automates these responses, you will not be consciously aware of them to take the corrective actions. At such times, instead of masking the underlying emotion, you need to fully feel it and face it. As you re-evaluate it, you understand its real worth. Then you need to give clear inputs to the brain on how to process this information. Thus, a new neural pathway will get formed with the renewed response.

  

Key Insight:

An uncomfortable feeling not only comes from the external stimuli but it also from within as result of change in mood, memory and surroundings. Whenever we face an uncomfortable feeling, we may either explode or suppress it within. When we spew it out on others, it results into anger, hatred and envy binding us into a karmic bondage. The other person tries to search for an opportunity to get even with us. Thus, we may temporarily safeguard our physical health by expressing anger or resentment on others, but it is at the cost of harmony in our relations. Ultimately it leads us to regret. Conversely, when we suppress the feeling within, we may appear calm from outside but internally we simmer. If we sometime to suppress it for a long time, one fine day it becomes unbearable and we explode like a volcano. When feelings are suppressed for long they lead to various kinds of illnesses. Studies have shown that such suppressed feelings affect various parts of the body. For example, fear can affect the kidneys and the urinary bladder, hatred can affect the lungs, guilt can affect the neck, depression can affect the feet, too much of emotional burden can cause the shoulder pain.

Instead of suppressing or exploding our feelings, there is a third way or witnessing them from a detached standpoint. When we witness emotions from a detached standpoint, your old neural pathways will get replaced with new ones. You will be able to maintain your clam in situations where you used to get angry. You will not get troubled by problems as much. Instead, you will choose to respond to problems instead of reacting to them, thus making problems a stepping stone for your progress. Thus you will no longer escape from situations.